I think there are a lot of factors that can boost the self-confidence of your child or scatter it. Also what will work and what will not depends a lot on your child and your own particular circumstances.
For me I think the most important thing is to love my children unconditionally. That doesn't mean that we don't quarrel, oh yes, we do. But it means that Gini and Karl know that they can count on me when they need me. And they know that my love doesn't depend on the grades they get in school or any of their other achievements.
Also I try to treat them with respect. That means I try to listen to them, take
them seriously. I try to take the time each day to listen to their worries and their joys, to hear what they like and dislike, to get an understanding what is going on in their lives.
Often I read that you should praise your child. I think it is right, it is surely better to talk about what your child is doing well than permanently remind her/him of what she/he can't. More importantly I think it can help the child go on with learning. If you praise your child not only for the success she/he had but already for mere trying (and failing) she/he might get the motivation to push on until success and achievement are there. And in a way I feel that to let your child experience achievement is one of the biggest boosters of self-confidence.
For example for a while Gini felt a bit bad because another bigger girl in kindergarten could solve all the jigsaw puzzles there much quicker than she could. So I praised her whenever she tried a puzzle especially when it had many parts or was a new one she hadn't done over and over before. One evening she was doing a 48 parts jigsaw for the first time. She was crying and telling me a lot of times that she couldn't go on, she wouldn't find anymore parts that fit. I praised her for the parts she had already got together but refused to help her. You can't believe how happy and proud she was when she had finally solved it all
by herself. It was a real achievement!
Another point that I think is unfortunately often overlooked is that your very own self-confidence often is a key factor to your child's self-confidence. So by boosting your self-confidence you will automatically boost your child's self-confidence.
Other aspects that certainly influence your child's self-confidence are her/his friends and whether she/he can express herself/himself. Give your child the opportunity to play with other children and allow her/him to invite her/his friends home from time to time or meet (regularely) with them on the playground or in the park. Also sing with your child or otherwise make music and let your child paint a lot so that she/he can freely express her/his feelings.
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