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More than one right way to educate...

Luckily I live in a country where I am free and my ways of doing things are respected. But as some of you might already know my husband Antoin immigrated to Multimixcity as an adult and even though the country he is originally from calls itself free (and indeed is free in many aspects) when it comes to education it is not. I just noticed it when we visited his cousin Louisa some time ago. When we were there we decided to go to a playgroup together with her. I better hadn't! Thoughtlessly I mentioned that Gini and Karl often stay up late but by the way those other mothers looked at me I already regretted it the second after my words had come out. Needless to say that they then immediately set upon me... What a bad mother I was for not sending my kids to sleep from 1 to 3 pm and 6pm to 6am! Coming from a country where different cultures live peacefully together and everybody can have her ways I was shocked of this intolerance and narrow-mindedness. I tried to point out that in my country this is done in different ways and from the way children develop you simply cannot say that one method is superior to the other. As many people think tradition is very important I tried to point out that my parents already did it that way and I benefited from it, I tried to point out that we are happy the way we do things. It did not help. They even reproached me that I had no rules that children would need so badly. What??? Simply by following other rules they tell me I have none???! They even suggested I should bind my children to their beds if they don't want to sleep at the times those women thought they should! What??? I could not believe my ears! I thought there was a law in that country that states that violence towards kids is forbidden...

Finally I decided to quit and walk away from that fruitless discussion and bluntly told them that their behaviour was intolerant. They still didn't get it. They said they didn't want to hurt me but said I was cowardly avoiding to discuss those issues. I decided not to answer. What could I say? If there is no one way of doing things correctly there is no need for any discussion. I felt sad that they were so stupid nad narrow-minded. But of course I know that I have my black spots too and might act intolerant from time to time. Lousia told me that there are a lot of other things where she was pressured to comply. People for instance told her that her daughter would need to eat carrots as her first solid meal because otherwise she would never eat any vegetables, she was told to carry her only in certain ways etc. etc. Uugh! Shouldn't parents have the right to decide for themselves?!

Unfortunately in her state politicians now passed laws that make it compulsory that children take a language test two years before they start school. It makes bilingual education a very difficult task indeed. Even worse it is compulsory now to have a doctor examine the child every one or two years. And they are still thinking about new laws like that. Understandably Louisa is thinking about immigrating now too.

How happy I am that I live in a free country! But if you have to face such people what I want to say to you is keep your head high, grow a very very big skin, believe in your feelings and continue doing things in the way you think it is best for your child and your situation and simply look for other friends! It might be hard to find nice friends at first but if you are persistent you will find them. And it is certainly worth the effort!

The only important thing is that you love your child. Make sure you show your love to your child so that she/he knows that she/he is loved. That's all. If you do this you are a good parent! Always remember this and don't let other people tell you nuts! There is simply more than one right way to educate your child!

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